Fully Armed Against Emotional Eating

I wish to thank the sister who forwarded me this link on emotional eating:  http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=596

This article gave me the idea of keeping a food journal and recording in it the impulses to eat that are not hunger related.  It will help me to become more mindful of those times;  and what the underlying triggers are.

They went on to say that emotional eating occurs when we lose our connection to our grounded self.  Nine times out of ten, something has just occurred which causes us to feel helpless, overwhelmed, ashamed, or afraid.

Another helpful suggestion was to make sure you are eating healthy food which will make you less vulnerable to these attacks.  If you are even a little bit hungry, you are more likely to weaken and give in to that urge to eat.

This was unexpectedly confirmed for me this week.  I am intentionally eating more vegetables and grains.  In my mind, the urge to eat has come upon me a few times;  but there is still a fullness in my stomach that discourages the thought of any more food coming in….An unexpected bonus.

Emotional Eating

Putting an end to emotional eating means that I need to find the courage to stand up for myself and my rights - especially with the people who mean the most to me.

It means that I will no longer be able to let those with more powerful energies railroad me into things I don’t want for myself.

It means  that I will no longer pick up responsibilities that belong to other people just because I see a need not being met.

It means that I will no longer let people with passive-aggressive tendencies push my buttons and get a reaction out of me.

It means I will not let other people use their negative energies to contaminate my space and stifle my spirit.

Sometimes the situation will call for me to vocalize my non-acceptance of what is happening.  Other times all it will take is a certain mindset on my part.  “No, I do not accept those words.  I will not even deem them worthy of a response.”

Just because the other person’s headspace is contaminated does not mean that I have to allow it to spill over and affect me even if they are a part of my world – and even if I care about them.

I came across a quote, from an unknown source, that I am going to keep with me for the next little while until these goals are second nature to me:

“Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.”

Destroying myself with food is no longer an option I even choose to consider.  Emotional eating is all about me abusing me so that I won’t say something another person won’t like hearing.

Picking Up The Pieces

A quote from Joseph Campbell goes like this:  “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.”

I was holding on so tight that I never wanted to let go.  But that wasn’t getting me anywhere except further behind.  We are meant to pick up the pieces and move forward.

If I had died first and had to watch him not being able to enjoy the rest of his life, I would be in a grievous state.  Looking at it that way, I realize that I have not been fair to him.

I have not honored his memory by building something good out of what we had together.  I have just been throwing it away, feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t have it anymore. 

I am grateful for what we had together; it is time I started acting like it.

I will take the light from those wonderful memories, and use it to light my path into the future.

I will be grateful for, and make the most of, every day of my life from here on in.

Giving Permission To Die

Six and one-half years my husband has been dead; and finally I am ready to give him permission to die.  Oh, I paid lip service to giving this permission while he was on his deathbed – right up until the actual time of his death.  But from the moment he died, I have held on for all I was worth – not able to let go of him.  He was my anchor.  No man is supposed to be our anchor. 

In his book “Bread For The Journey” Henri Nouwen writes:

“One of the greatest gifts we can offer our family and friends is helping them to die well.  Sometimes THEY are ready to go to God but we have a hard time letting them go.  But there is a moment in which we need to give those we love the permission to return to God, from whom they came.  We have to sit quietly with them and say. ‘Do not be afraid…I love you, God loves you…it’s time for you to go in peace…I won’t cling to you any longer…I set you free to go home…Go gently, go with my love.’  Saying this from the heart is a true gift.  It is the greatest gift love can give.” 

Things We Can Learn From A Dog

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

Take naps, and stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle him or her gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout…run right back and make friends.

 Anonymous

Abundant Living

I asked for wisdom…
and God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity…
and God gave me more work.

I asked for courage…
and God gave me danger to overcome.

I asked for love…
and God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for favors…
and God gave me opportunities.

Anonymous (Islamic Origin)

The Black Pearl

Every time I offered my hand in support – the way one human being would to another – he vehemently slapped it away.

 But we can find a pearl in any oyster if we look for it.

It was a real growing experience for me.

We did not know each other well enough for there to be animosity between us.  I had not been in his life long enough to have unintentionally offended him.

When it happened, I backed up, shaken to the core.  It triggered old wounds.

Then I realized this had everything to do with him, and what was going on inside him.  It had nothing to do with me.

I was able to use his blessing to reframe all the old wounds that also didn’t really have much to do with me.  They were about the other person,  and what was going on for them.

Thanks to this man who was virtually a stranger to me, I am now able to kiss those old injuries to my spirit goodbye.